


Nate and Chaz watch a porno

by onychophoran (batty42)



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-26
Updated: 2011-12-26
Packaged: 2017-10-28 04:57:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/303975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batty42/pseuds/onychophoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan and Charles watch porn and fight for control of the remote.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nate and Chaz watch a porno

 

 

"What the hell are you watching?" Charles asked as he walked into Nathan’s and his bedroom. Some horribly fake blond bimbos were fingering each other and moaning like it was the second coming on the television screen.

 

Nathan looked up from where he sat idly watching tv in his boxers sitting on their bed. "Hmm?" he questioned distractedly. "You were busy so I was watching TV."

 

Charles loosened his tie and sat down on the bed next to Nathan. "That’s not TV, it's, ah, porn." he observed as he pulled off his shoes.

 

"What, it's on the TV." he said distractedly as the bright orange tan with the lopsided boobs began fellating a dildo like it was made of pie. Delicious, delicious pie.

 

Charles watched in horror and then began taking off his suit jacket. "They're ah, not even real lesbians." he complained starting in on his shirt.

 

Nathan slapped Charles' hands away from his shirt and sat up to undo the buttons himself. "What? How can you tell?" Charles had a lot of awesome superpowers but as far as he could tell, lesbian super sense was not one of them.

 

"Only fake porno lesbians wear two inch press on nails." he pointed out as he started to undo his belt.

 

On screen the woman in question with the day glow pink claws began prodding a delicate area on the orange bimbo in a none too delicate manner. Nathan winced in sympathy as sharp nails scrapped against tender flesh. "Okay, I see your point." he conceded as Charles, striped down to only boxer shorts, sat next to him in bed, backs against the headboard.

 

Nathan changed the channel and another fake blond with laughably fake tits moaned away. This time there was a guy plowing into her, holding her legs up in what had to be an uncomfortable angle. "Really, Nathan?" Charles questioned leaning hard into Nathan's side.

 

Nathan moved the remote to his other hand and wrapped an arm around Charles' shoulder. "What, I like boobs, you like boobs, this way we can enjoy boobs together."

 

Charles laughed and ran a hand up Nathan's chest. "I don't think a common love of boobs is a very good foundation for a homosexual relationship." he said. Despite the snarky comment Charles settled comfortably against Nathan's side and watched in silence. The fake boobs were beginning to grow on him and she was surprisingly flexible.

 

"I didn't know chicks could bend like that?" Nathan said, tilting his head to get a better angle.

 

"I don't think they can." remarked Charles in awe.

 

Before too long the man, who was represented on screen as little more than a dick with legs attached, came on the bimbo's fake tits.

 

"What else have we got?" asked Charles, taking the remote out of Nathan's hands. Dethklok had the most expansive TV Porno package money could buy. Charles hit the video on demand button.

 

"Lame, lame, super lame," commented Nathan as Charles scrolled through the titles.

 

"Fine!" said Charles exasperatedly handing Nathan back the remote. "You pick something."

 

Nathan gladly took back control of the remote. "God, why do these things always have such lame titles? April loves cock? Who the fuck is April and why should I care?"

 

Charles laughed as Nathan read off the particularly stupid titles. "Oh! Stop!" Charles shouted, smacking the hand with the remote to insure compliance. Nathan dropped the remote and Charles made a quick grab between the covers to retrieve it. "Check it out!" he said going up a few entries. "Nate gets a deep dicking!" he read off the title on screen enthusiastically. "Let’s watch that!" he said to Nathan's horror.

 

"No," whined Nathan. "Dude, that's so lame. It's just some hipster twink getting it from behind from a surfer twink. You know how I feel about twinks."

 

"They're not metal?" guessed Charles.

 

Nathan took back control of the remote. "Why are all the dudes in gay porn skinny little twinks or hairy fat men?" questioned Nathan rejecting another page of subpar pornos. "How come there aren’t any pornos with guys that look like you?" Nathan looked down at his boyfriend curled into his side. Charles maybe smaller in comparison but with all that muscle he would never be confused for a twink.

 

"Dude that's it!" Nathan shouted sitting up straighter on the bed. "We should make our own porno!"

 

Charles laughed and pushed Nathan back down into his previous lounging position so he could resume using his shoulder as a pillow. Conversations like this were why he loved coming home to Nathan after a long day of having to be too serious at work.

 

"Nope." Charles said simply. "Just think of how many fans would spontaneously combust if you ever appeared in a porno. The press release denying any involvement would be a nightmare."

 

Nathan tossed the remote to the side and tickled his fingers up his boyfriend's chest. "What? Don't you want all those jackoffs in suits you bitch about to know just how good you are in bed?"

 

Charles tried to squirm out of Nathan's reach without breaking contact with the part of him he was using as a pillow. "No!" he laughed trying to catch his breath.

 

"Dude!" shouted Nathan, suddenly losing interest in tickling Charles. "We could call it 'Nate and Chaz's awesome sexcaped'."

 

Charles grabbed one of the unused pillows to twacked Nathan in the chest with. "That’s a stupid name for a porno." he said, feeling avenged for the unprovoked attack of tickling.

 

Nathan dove for the crease in Charles' neck and nibbled. "How about 'Nate and Chaz have hotter sex than you'?" he asked, breathing against Charles’ skin.

 

"That’s a little better." conceded Charles, breathless, running his fingers through Nathan's hair.

 

"Mmm," agreed Nathan moving his lips down from Charles's neck to a pert nipple. "How about, 'Nate and Chaz have steamy hot sex'?" he asked before licking a nipple and sucking it between his teeth.

 

"Now that one I like," agreed Charles before pulling Nathan fully under the covers with him.


End file.
